The Ottermanempire.com

Squeaks all,

This fluffball is Packet, one of my friends adorable little kitty that today was hacked. Yep his dns tables (Dinky Nut Sac) has been pulled from the router and he can ping no more. He’s now TCP/IP ( testicles can’t point/Into Pussy) Making Chaos once more the Sys admin that us males fear ….

Hal

Question:

Why do we seem to have the worlds worst system? ……..
====================

An answer.

I’m going to tell you something unpleasant. Customer Service is a large part of the reason bugs continue to exist. True, they do not originate in with you but, after a product is released they live in your house and eat your food. You have a few options:

1) Do nothing and watch while they drink your beer.
2) Handle each one on a case by case basis, while three more come through the door.
3) Escalate the bugs each and every time they show up, until all bugs of that type are eliminated.

Now, I can take the rather sparse information you have given me to Development. As it happens I did. Imagine the conversation:

Oracle - “Lo, the citizens say we have a bug!”
Dev - “Oh my this is terrible news! What is it?”
Oracle - “It is a heretofore unknown bug of great dimension and venom . . . but none can say where exactly it is that you may know it for yourselves.”
Dev - “This is unbelievable! In fact, I do not believe it. Bring me proof or I shall slay you where you stand!”

Well, it did not go exactly like this, but you get the picture. So, as this is not a bug that I have encountered I would like proof of it. Anyone who has encountered this bug please send cases of it to X, your TL, or myself.

Thank you.

Western Screech owl, cool eh:)

Well I managed to have a fun issue today, I was listening to cd, using outlook to do a mail when I started getting random junk, noises like MM ah, uh in my headphones. System started severe go slow, 88% was being hogged by the sapisvr. The voice rec had switched on ( unaided ) and seemingly was dragging the text from trying to dictate the CD , it was Bjork so good luck on that mr XP.

And it’s a known bug, er feature Ms kbase Q315765

Hal

The Gannet

The Gannet, Sula bassanus Yes today we have an animal I admire. I’m not really a great bird fan, breasts are cool though, but I digress. This mobile fish missile is not only stunning in design but in execution. Imagine driving near a Taco bell and feeling peckish, but you run your car through the wall, catapult through the window to end up with a gordita in your mouth, get dragged back into the car ( look physics is on holiday) and then go about your way. That is one meal for the Gannet.

Ah yes another day where my function seems to be negated by current events. Nevermind I am still getting paid the same irrespective of the effect I have. Last night in the Phx region we had two thunderstorms starting from opposite ends of the city meet:) It was a most interesting 45 minutes standing on the balcony having sheets of rain turn me drookit ( go find a Scots dictionary) While many of the apt dwellers came out to look they had the advantage, ( to their minds anyway) of not being attacked.

Nah he’s not. I just needed a catchy title, much as I enjoy the films of Mr Eastwood I would like to state for the record that you can’t accurately drop 6 rounds from a 44 mag on target in the manner demonstrated within his fine ouevre of Dirty Harry and associated pictures. Yes today was one of those days where extreme action had to be taken on the range. Not only was I feeling like a love sick Vogon captain but sadly I had no one to order out off air-locks.

Yeah so I bought myself the equivalent of a Miata in practicality terms, though people seem less likely to laugh at it for some reason? Anyway my depression was lifted by an afternoon bossing little bits of paper around remotely.

Who-Song and Larry’s Mexican Restaurant and Cantina should you ever be in Portland is capable of not only providing decent Tequila and Mexican munchies it is to day the only time that wacky entertaining waiting staff actually worked, while neither may be the pinnacle of culture this place should be Video taped and sent to every TGI, TJ o pootertoots and Chili’s with a warning to not to attempt anything amusing until they get this good!. Saxaphone and 2 guitars are the accompianment to the live guacamole preperation that takes place table side, sung along to the tune of Woolly Bully with some harranguing of the neighbouring Chart house customers over the fence. If you want a quiet meal in this place I suggest you reconsider

Hal.

Hiv + muppets, how did that happen? They shared a washing machine? Frank Oz forgot to wash his hand before fisting Kermit? ( it’s really not easy being green. Maybe a tainted cotton transfusion?Anchoring the story with this image is interesting though. One of the things though I don’t get is what it’s not been renamed to Sesame MLK Blvd.

Ok then 3-8 year olds are going to take what preventative steps? I think needle sharing it unlikely,unprotected sex also unlikely( Depends on church attended though :P) So what’s left, kids making informed choices about blood product when undergoing operations?

Hal opo

You know, I would love to have one of the happier icons there. Tonight though, My Ebay rating tarnished for good by a total shit for brains. I paid for modem 90 bucks with shipping. He sent me $15 buck crossover in error. I sent it to the correct person. Time passed. I asked for money back two weeks later. In the end they stated that since he was going to lose money paying me he wasn’t going to pay me back. Thankfully the post office found the thing that this guy had failed to pick up from the post office. So it was sent back to the wrong person. Eventually it found it’s way to me, incurring postal cost on two others for his mistake. In the end they refused to talk to me without myself going through their lawyer.

What the hell is it in the US with responsibility for your own actions that seems to be the problem? You know the sort of people that surf porn at work, then would file a suit against the company for not protecting them from their “sex addiction” This fuck honestly thinks that because he sent it to the wrong person that it’s my fault.

On other notes work is at least at the forefront on employing the socially disadvantaged. Helen keller’s grads designed the UI on the thing I am working on.Seemingly my phrase ” this has more bugs than an anteater’s shit” has yet to sink in.

Hal

Hi,

I’ve noticed that at no time did we request that you mine who is data and then use up our resources in order to sell your product.If your search system is so damn effective why do you feel the need to advertise?

Surely anyone that wanted them could type in “website promotion” or similar and find your services?

No, I tried that, and didn’t appear in the top ten of 4 engines I tried. Please refrain from sending any further unsolicited mails for a service that seeminly even you can’t use effectively.

Regards

John

Advertising is not a free speech issue, these fucks are using my resources and time to try and make money, really business only works between consenting adults:)

Oh yes, well another day of Q A , it really should be called QC since the programmers should be ensuring the quality. HAHAHA, oh my . I kill me. It’s hard to do a job which is to identify faults with programs, but only the faults that they are interested in fixing,that day anyway. assumptions that they do not want to hear another example of the same fault that was pushed back x 3 can often misfire.

Guns on planes, whoopee:) Sorry I find that anyone that is willing to fly, yet not willing to give the pilot the last means of defense are the sort of people that airplanes are wasted on, A 767 is a thing of beauty that not only shows you just what man can do on a good day, but allows you to see what the grand canyon has done on a few million “bad” ones. Oh yeah the pilot might go mad and shoot 16 people, so much more likely that they might miss the ground:)

Hal…

Greetings,

Well this is going to be my post from work account. The real drama occurs on my main Site that link gets you by the rather out of date flash movie that yes I will replace.

Today I am not having fun. Asked to find faults that won’t get fixed if found, yet they get on my case if they are not found so that the ignoring them is official.

Hal…. OPO

Your intro to the otter. How I got my name, stopped worrying, and learned to love the bomb.

Pope… Everyone is a pope

Hal …. From 2001, we share the same work ethic and react similarly to contradictory orders.

Tse…. From the Chinese for child or master.

Kometes, Greek base for comet, also means long-haired.

I am as they say a sitting contradiction, I tried walking and contradicting but found that too stressful. Why would an atheist, such as myself, have anything to do with Eris, goddess of chaos and strife? Well for the record I am a practical atheist,philosophical taoist/discordian.

SO….

What’s an Atheist ?
What’s a Taoist ?
What’s a Discordian ?

Atheist means without god. It does not mean that I do not believe in god. The phrasing of that question is part of the problem, especially with the recent 9th cicuit flap. It’s not “do you believe in god?” which predicates that a god exists, and it’s just my personal choice to believe or not. It’s “do you believe there is a god?” To which I have to say prove it:-) An omniscient, omnipresent monotheistic creation is contradictory imho. So for all practical day to day purposes there is no god. I sure as hell would not go to a faith based mechanic.

Taoism, Tao (pronounced “Dao”) means literally “the path” or “the way.” It is a universal principle that underlies everything from the creation of galaxies to the interaction of human beings. The workings of Tao are vast and often beyond human logic. In order to understand Tao, reasoning alone will not suffice. One must also apply intuition. See taoism.net for more info. In short it’s a way of living in balance with your surroundings that to my mind teaches a more useful interface with reality than the buddists avoidance. Anyone selling a hereafter imho is getting it wrong. I can’t deny there’s life after death, witness Travolta’s career for example, but again where’s the evidence? I’ve already taken Milton Berle into account.

Discordian. If organized religion is the opium of the masses, then disorganized religion is the marijuana of the lunatic fringe.Did you know that god is a girl and her name is Eris? Do a google search for the Principa Discordia, then have a little read. The central tenets, the law of fives ( the pentabarf) are included below.

There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.
A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.
A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.
A Discordian is Prohibited from Believing What he reads.
Before you dismiss these as arbitrary, which they most likely are:P, think about how the majority of people you know engage in practices just as “odd” There’s a lesson here which to me is that once you start thinking in the “law of fives” you can warp the world into your reality tunnel, how much different is that from the christians seeing the world through blood tinted glasses? Why is refusing to eat a hotdog bun for “religious” reasons seen as stranger as an aversion to pigs?

Hal….